So you want to be a Super Hero, do you? Well then you better make sure you get the right set of super powers because not all powers are created equal.
We all know it would be great to be able to fly, to possess super strength, have X-ray vision or the ability to read someone’s mind. Dozens of superheroes and science fiction heroes have had those powers during the past century.
But RadarOnline.com decided to take a look at the other side of super powers and discovered there have been countless characters who found themselves with fun but useless talents. We turned to our comic book expert Jeff Rovin, author of The Encyclopedia of Superheroes, to bring us what he says is the definitive list of character with the most useless powers ever:
15. Color Kid: First appearing in Adventure Comics in 1966, alien Ulu Vakk of the planet Lupra is struck by a rainbow beam from another dimension. This gives him the power to change any color into any other color. (Editor’s note: where was he when my wife asked me to repaint the house?)
14. TNT: debuting in Star Spangled Comics in 1942, the hero and his sidekick Dyna-mite have rings that, when touched together, create an explosion that makes their costumes appear. And that’s it.
13. The Thunderer: The hero of Marvel’s Daring Mystery in 1941, Jerry Carstairs can amplify his voice. He yells to scare bad guys; he has no Plan B.
12. Captain Tootsie: As far back as the 1940s, this hero was getting extra endurance — in other words, a sugar rush — from eating Tootsie Rolls.
11. Captain Fearless: The star of Captain Fearless comics in 1941, the hero has just one power: he possesses a magic horn which, when blown, summons a ghost for advice.
10. Captain Zero: Making his debut in his own comic book in 1949, Lee Allyn can turn invisible after a nuclear mishap. Great power, you say? Well…not really, since Allyn can’t control when it happens.
9. Fatman: When he encounters an alien being in 1967, Van Crawford is given a chocolate-flavored drink which enables him to turn into a silver flying saucer. That could be an okay power if it didn’t come with a weakness: anytime there’s food around, he stops pursuing bad guys to eat it.
8. Sparkman: The star of Sparkler Comics from 1941 can generate crackling static electricity, and we know how deadly that can be.
7. Speed Centaur: You’ve got to love one of the first comic book heroes, from Amazing Mystery Funnies in 1939. He’s half-man, half-horse — which means he can gallop to crime scenes, though not as fast as a police car.
6. Kangaroo Man: Jack Brian, of Choice Comics from 1941, has a trained kangaroo who helps him stomp out evil. Literally.
5. Kaptain Kween: this British comic book superhero from the 1970s is granted physical strength by a white bearded mystic — but they only work against villains who attack hair and hair stylists.
4. Madam Fatal: the hero, who first appeared in the appropriately named Crack Comics in 1940, is actually a guy who has the uncanny ability of masquerading as an old woman, which allows him to sneak up on unsuspecting evildoers.
3. Mr. E: Punch Comics gave us this hero in 1941, a crimefighter who has a statue of the god King Kolah to let him know when there’s a crime. A police scanner could do the same thing, though Kolah sometimes sends along a pair of magical elves to help him.
2. Mosquito Boy: The good news is, this 1966 comic book character can fly and sting people. The bad news: he’s vulnerable to insect repellent and a swat on the head. It’s a wash.
1. The Blimp: A member of DC Comics The Inferior Five, Herman Cramer can float — but he can’t go anywhere unless there’s a breeze.