Young Republican Pleads Guilty To Delivering Blowjob

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AN ELEPHANT NEVER FORGETS A BLOWJOB Trust Me, The Art For This Could Have Been Much Worse

How in the world did Glenn Murphy Jr., resident of Indiana and now the former chair of the Young Republican National Federation, find the one man in America who didn’t want to be awakened by a blowjob? In any event, he did, at a fun Republican sleep-over—and now he’s pleaded guilty to “criminal deviate conduct.” He’ll serve about a year in jail, with good behavior and much of the sentence suspended. The Indiana law defines the charge as: “A person who knowingly or intentionally causes another person to perform or submit to deviate sexual conduct when… the other person is unaware that the conduct is occurring.” Interestingly enough, that same state code defines rape as an act only between members of the opposite sex. So Mr. Murphy cannot be called a rapist and is the lucky recipient, it seems, of some quirk of unimaginative lawmakers.

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