The Two Coreys: A Real Thriller

Corey Haim and Corey Feldman? The two Coreys? The Lost Boys? License To Drive? Yeah, us either. But they've somehow gotten themselves a second season of their A&E reality show The Two Coreys (GENIUS title!), and if this clip from last night's episode is any indication, they're ready to open up every old wound in an attempt to reach some sort of rapprochement, or at least jack up ratings. The two Coreys had an old-fashioned rape-off to see who was molested worse! It's a difficult judgment to make without all the facts in front of us, but we're going to say the one who kinda hints that he got diddled by someone who is almost certainly a popular entertainer whose name rhymes with "Michael Lackson" wins this round, if only because he's so obviously still scarred that he makes the kind of terrible fashion choices evidenced by his terrible hat.