The Sexual Life of Scott Baio

HAPPIER DAYS Scotty

What's a guy to do when he's "dated and made love to some of the most desirable, beautiful starlets in Hollywood" but still can't find love? If you're Scott Baio, you find two co-writers to package up your pinhead thoughts and try to sell a book. Perhaps emboldened by the success of early '90s casualty Tori Spelling, who sold her memoir to Simon & Schuster for $300,000 in December (albeit, after asking for $2 million), Baio is shopping around his own, poignantly titled tell-all, BaioWatch: How I Dated and Loved Hollywood's Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone.

The book, which RadarOnline.com obtained the first 60 pages of, is effectively a compendium of love advice Baio gleaned from flings with everyone from Pam Anderson to Heather "The One That Got Away" Locklear to, um, Liza Minnelli (A taste: "Take it from me, when a woman says, 'I need time to think,' it's over. You're fucked. That train has left the station. Cry for two days, then find someone else.")

Those looking for a little Baio lovin' to put next to their will undoubtedly be thrilled if he happens to find a publisher (though, a publishing source notes, "several have already passed.").