Rock of Love Entertains, Sickens Troops

SLUT JOCKEY Michaels (Photo: Getty Images) During Sunday night's episode of Rock of Love 2, the contestants bravely continued on their quest to destroy any morsel of their remaining dignity. Michaels decided it would be appropriate to honor our men and women in uniform by having two feisty, spandex-clad U.S.O. ancients lead his pack of hussies—despite a marked absence of talent—in entertaining the troops. The result was conceivably the most bizarre and weirdly patriotic train wreck ever televised.

Daisy capitalized on the opportunity to humiliate herself by crooning a rendition of the national anthem. Fortunately, she's smart enough to carry the lyrics onstage with her. Unfortunately, she's dumb enough to screw it up anyway to the tune of "Oh say can you see the banners yet wave." The other girls paired off. Ambre's tap dancing was the only worthwhile bit in the whole embarrassing affair, while her partner, Kristy Joe, flailed about like "a monkey on crack." Destiny and Inna did a dance that quickly turned into an ass-slapping strip-tease. Finally, Megan and Jessica triumphed with their more tasteful hula-hooping strip dance, which they did while kinda reciting the preamble to the constitution. Megan, pleased by her own idiocy, uttered this gem: "I wasn't just learning the preamble. I was learning new words." Giggle, giggle. America. Woo hoo.