Oprah and Guests Sip on O.J. Pulp

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O HAYL NO Oprah, Fred Goldman (left inset), Denise Brown (right inset)

Shame to those of you who assumed Oprah's decision to do a program on the upcoming release of O.J. Simpson's If I Did It was about the skyrocketing ratings guarantee. Ever hear of censorship? Freedom of speech, maybe? All the myriad other admirable fights for justice Oprah likes to get behind to, um, mask her money play? You disappoint us.

In yesterday's episode of Oprah, before welcoming the Goldman's, Oprah said (and reiterated again ... and again ... and again), "It's a book I will not be reading, but you get to decide what you do. You can make up your own mind because we live in a country where we don't believe in censorship and everyone gets to choose. I've chosen not to read it, but obviously my producers have read it." In other words, "Be an asshole, but I'm not. I'm here for your ratings."

Ron Goldman's father, Fred, took the familiar line that the book is not "a manual for murder" but a confession and that he wants people to hear it, and, God willing, save one girl at a time. "Based upon what I've heard," Oprah chimed in, "he doesn't really confess and says that this is all hypothetical." (O, O.p.p., this is when not reading the book you're devoting an entire hour-long show to is kind of counterproductive.) Kim Goldman, Ron's sister, noted O.J.'s savvy money dodges, having done nothing to pay them the $30-some million settlement they were awarded in the early '90s. As for the "hypothetical" claim, "an innocent person does not write hypothetically about how he would decapitate the mother of his children," said Kim. Eminem would probably beg to differ, but whatevs. Note: It seems to us that she has already spent the impending profits on some serious facial work. No judgment!