Model-Biting Mogul Terrorizes St. Bart's

BUTTMUNCH Roman

Hmmm.... Wonder why a 26-year-old model and socialite would date a schlumpy looking, sunburnt college drop-out who actually goes out in public in Birkenstocks and manpris and has a penchant for bad puns? Well it might help that he's worth an estimated $18.7 billion, owns a 282-foot yacht, and is about to buy that 26-year-old some prime beach-front property on the Caribbean island of St. Bart's.

Indeed, Roman Abramovich was spotted in St. Bart's this weekend, um, biting his girlfriend Dasha Zhukova's butt as she climbed onto said 282-foot yacht after a swim, walking hand-in-hand with her with a goofy expression on his face—in, yes, Birkenstocks and manpris—and gazing at property brochures with his photogenic new love. Isn't being so rich you could buy the whole island romantic?