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Miss Universe Pageant Becomes Performance Art Piece About State Of American Economy

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Miss USA, Crystle Stewart, took a tumble and fell to the ground at Sunday’s Miss Universe Pageant in Vietnam, and man oh man was it embarrassing. It was the evening gown competition that claimed Stewart, who has made it into the Top 10, just as it did to last year’s Miss USARachel Smith, who also suffered a long-dress-induced total bail. With two falls in two years on the Miss Universe stage, one has to wonder if God is secretly trying to communicate with America through its tightly toned pageant contestants. Or maybe just having a good laugh with it.

This year’s Miss Universe was hosted by Jerry Springer and Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice. A heavily-eyelinered Miss Venezuela Dayana Mendoza took home the crown. An estimated one billion around the world tuned in to watch America tumble and get right back up, clap it off, and walk on in her tacky evening gown, as only she can.

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