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Papa Lohan Speaks Out

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YOUR DAD USED TO LOVE MY RED RUNNY NOSE Lohans (Photo: Getty Images)

Daddy dearest: Michael Lohan says that his ex Dina receiving a “Top Mom” award is a “joke…. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose.” Dina calls him “infantile.”

Drop deadline: Hillary Clinton campaign officials say that this whole ordeal will be over by June 15.

Our Facebook, who art in heaven: Pope Benedict and the Catholic Church will be reaching out to the youth of the world, sending them inspirational text messages and creating a Catholic social networking site. The “Catholic Facebook” will also prove useful to priests who like young boys.

SURE, THERE’S MORE: Epstein thinks of running; someone else criticizes Hillary’s fashion; and platypuses!

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