McCain's Brainwashing Exposed

HIGHER POWER McCain Vietnamese officials are panicking in Hanoi amid new signs that their sinister plot to destroy America using brainwashed stooge John McCain could be foiled by a righteous brigade of crackpot morons.

Credit the Vietnam Veterans Against John McCain for detecting the Manchurian conspiracy most observers overlooked for its absurd stupidity, and for alerting the fair-minded people of South Carolina to this and a litany of other unflattering findings about McCain's war record. Coming as it does in the final days before the South Carolina primary, which is critical to McCain's success, the timing of the exposé couldn't be any worse from the perspective of McCain's Asian overlords, who have been waiting nearly 40 years for their drone to ascend to the American presidency. Of course, the news is much better for America and the political hacks who despise McCain and coincidentally tried to sink him with a similar smear job before the 2000 South Carolina primary.

It remains unclear how Vietnamese officials will respond to these late-breaking developments, but they are said to be deeply troubled by the prospect of a Huckabee presidency due to what's been described as some very unpleasant experiences in the past with Huck cohort Chuck Norris.