Lamming Lou Pearlman Sells Boy Toys

BOYS DON'T CRY Pearlman's art, Pearlman (inset)

The auctioning of boy-band baron and current fugitive Lou Pearlman's keepsakes drew such a large crowd to his old offices in Orlando, one can't help but fondly remember his vision: a catalog of barely pubescent pop stars playing bubblegum drivel to hundreds of thousands of screaming, fainting fans.

"The boy bands were the only thing he ever seemed passionate about," a source once close to dirty uncle Lou told RadarOnline.com before today's auction. But, the source adds, "There's been a lawsuit attached to practically every business the guy's ever done."

At the event, which seemed more like a garage sale than anything remotely dignified, middle-aged men rather than tweens clamored for a slice of the big poppa's boy pie, presumably planning to turn around and hawk memorabilia on eBay. With available items including crusty silk flowers, a platinum O-Town album, and 2001's most state of the art technology, who could blame them?

The proceeds of the auction are to pay back the more than $130 million Pearlman owes the banks and the $317 million he defrauded from investors. Given the final sale price on the items (Daffy Duck figurine for $50, platinum LFO plaque for $200, a bookcase for $10), it seems unlikely that the entire $447 million debt was recouped. What is likely, though, is that, somewhere, a bloated and lonely Lou Pearlman is breathing a sigh of relief, damn thankful he doesn't have all of this crap on his hands anymore.