If four out of five weeklies put you on the cover and claim your marriage is deader than Dannielynn‘s mama, does it make it true? What if they throw exclamation marks in their headlines and speculate you might be preggers? For Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, it’s pretty much a typical day in the life since they started sucking face on red carpets back in 2005. Still, this week’s TomKat scrutiny is excessive, even if it is a week between Saint Angelina adoptions.
In Touch focuses on a set of pics from an L.A. eatery, where a waiter claimed that Mrs. Cruise didn’t have any drinky drinks and looked knocked up. They also point out that the Mission Impossible star had his hands on Katie’s tum-tum, which the Bauer bunch seems to think is as good a confirmation as a plus sign on an EPT wand. But upon closer inspection, it appears this belly-grabbing might just be because Katie’s wearing heels and this is as high as Tom could reach. In Touch frets that a Suri sibling could trap Kate with Tom forever. Quelle Horror! A “Divorce Shocker!” would sell so many more mags.