The Hills: I'm Okay, You're Okay

It's been 24 hours, far too long since we last recapped the workaday beauty that is The Hills:

Brody and Doug were not—as perhaps you feared, or hoped—dragged out into the Las Vegas desert and shot execution style. Nor were they thrown in the clink for killing a difficult prostitute, transporting black-tar heroin, or human smuggling. No. Turns out they just spent five hours in a casino jail for punching a drunk guy and now they think they are badass bros. Our congratulations to Brody, Doug, and all of their friends who will be subjected to this fantastic story every time one of them gets drunk over the course of the next 15 years.