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Preggy Man-Woman Does O-Show

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Baby-a-go-go: Oprah Winfrey invited Thomas, the pregnant man who’s been all over the news recently, on to her show today. As expected, he dropped a “manternity” joke.

Jay-Z’s hundredth problem: With the much needed financial security of a $150 million nest egg, longtime pseudo-secret, aesthetically mismatched couple Jay-Z and Beyoncé will likely marry tomorrow in New York City, and act all secret and shady about it until their inevitable divorce.

Typecasting : Tom Cruise’s turn in prosthetics as a fat, bald film-studio executive, much in the vein of his former nemesis Sumner Redstone, was well-received at an industry screening this week. But it begs the question: Was real-life bald fatty John Travolta unavailable for the role?

Apple wields branding iron over city: Apple computers calls trademark foul on New York City over who has the right to reproduce images of the forbidden fruit. Next up for Steve Jobs and company: Apple Paltrow-Martin, Apple trees, your face.

Hills endorsement met with dementia: Like a senile old man after his granddaughter’s school play, John McCain calls his reality-TV-star supporter Heidi Montag a “talented actress.” Not the first of his campaign lies, and surely not the last.

Obama can’t put down the fags: Democratic candidate Barack Obama has turned back to the sweet, sweet smoke cylinders he gave up in 2007. You see what you’re doing to him, Hillary? YOU SEE?!

Red hawk down: A young girl visited Fenway Park today, with scarring results: “The protective hawk swooped down on the girl, its talons cutting her head above her eyes.”

Wiggin’ out: Heather Mills, have you considered Scientology?

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