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Heather Mills and the War of Crazy

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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THE FIGHT FOR SANITY Mills, straitjacket

Conventional wisdom maintains that the person, place, or thing left standing at the end of a fight is the winner. In Beef of the Week, RadarOnline.com unravels the most prominent spat of the last seven days, deconstructing its causes and effects, and issuing a final verdict on the battle's victor. Let the games begin.

We at Beef of the Week are quick to surrender. We're not being cavalier, it's just inevitable sometimes—like in the case of the battle raging between Paul McCartney's soon-to-be-ex wife Heather Mills and the world-at-large. What keeps her going? Strength of character? Idiocy? Vital questions for this week's contest: Heather Mills vs. Insanity.

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Heather's one juicy parvenu, a low-grade fashion model/semi-pro ho turned amputee activist who married into that highly enviable Beatle juice and jacked herself up to a spot infinitely higher than her previous station. In the end, though, she failed to fill the Tivas of Paul's lionized ex and supreme animal rights activist Linda. Nobody ever really liked Heather, either. With her crushed fairytale and subsequent balls-out money-grab, she compounded the crime of trying to demonize the world's most famous and agreeable balladeer by taking the battle to a ruthless and faceless media. It doesn't even matter if what she says is true or not.

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