Groveling, Grassroots, And A Granny with Grass

SHOT AT THE WHITE HOUSE? Tequila • Sure it'll be a laugh riot: Promising to prolong this sad, drawn-out story into yet another news cycle, Michael Richards will meet with the men he insulted two weeks ago at the Laugh Factory. The meeting will be mediated by a judge who will determine if any further action will be taken. No word on whether or not camera phones will be permitted.

• Tila Tequila for Veep!: Huffington Post hips us to the fact that Democratic presidential frontrunner—okay, only runner as of this writing— Tom Vilsack has a MySpace profile. How cool do you feel now?

• Also acting young for her age...: Leticia Villareal Garcia, a 61-year-old grandmother pulled over by Arizona police with 214 pounds of pot in her car. Prosecutors are blaming—and this is not a joke—bingo: "The underlying issue is that she's got a bingo problem," said lawyer Doyle Johnstun, "which explains why an otherwise nice person might get sucked into something like this." Next up for Villareal: The cover of Rolling Stone?

• Muscular diplomacy: Leftists and conservatives in Mexico's Congress get into a melee just as new president Felipe Calderon was being sworn in. Did someone say video? ¡Sí!