Gravel to Kids: Bong Hits, Not Beer Bongs

WHO'S HOLDING? Gravel(Photo: Getty Images)

After forgoing the Iowa caucus to focus his efforts on making a splash in tomorrow's New Hampshire primary, Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel solidified his grasp yesterday on Granite State voters looking for a candidate who will give their children a little straight talk on the safest ways to get blitzed.

In what could be the best speech at an elite prep school since Bill Murray broke things down at Rushmore, Gravel offered advice to students at the prestigious Phillip Exeter Academy on their various intoxicant options. The former Alaska senator started by acknowledging the obvious in his own Mike Gravel-y way, noting that "I'm sure a lot of you have tripped out on alcohol." But fun as that is, Gravel told the teenagers to just say no. Because "it's a lot safer to do it on marijuana."