Glossies Get the Gift of Sam and Britney

OH, TO BED K-FED In Touch This week Us asks us to remember back to Super Bowl 2001, when sexy jailbait Britney Spears belted out, with then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake, Aerosmith's "Walk this Way" at the half-time show. Sigh ... oh, for those glorious bygone days when Brad Pitt and Jen Aniston were still Hollywood's golden couple, Angelina Jolie was wearing Billy Bob's blood, and Katie Holmes was still Dawson's girl and not a Scientology fembot. It was all so long ago. So much before that big hole in the ground by Century 21 and something called the Gulf War was being remembered as two weeks' worth of yellow-ribbon wearing. Now? Britney's in her padded cell, and her family and creepy companion Sam Lutfi are battling it out.