George Bush's Rhythm Nation Tour
Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET
• Get out of Africa: Bush, particularly jiggy, lifting a couple dance steps from Barack Obama? You know he watches Ellen.
• Obamarama : Will.I.Am plans to release his second Obama propaganda song, "inspired by a line in his speech after Super Tuesday." Surely whomever Obama stole the line from will be honored.
• Mystery of violence: Gary Coleman, according to reports, tried to run his 22-year-old bride over with his truck a couple months before their wedding. Joke? Not this time, pal. Gas is expensive.
• Galactic fantastic: Richard Branson is adding five new spaceships to the Virgin Galactic! A rep says it's silly to divide the $200,000 price tag by the five minutes travelers will spend in space, but if you did it would be $40,000. Each minute.
• Queen of stole: The most aggressive worst dressed list of the year has arrived! PETA calls out Lindsay Lohan and Eva Longoria for crimes against creatures, but saves the top spot for Aretha Franklin.
• Life after Tony : Showtime continues plumbing the vestiges of HBO yore for new programming, signing former Soprano Edie Falco to play a nurse in a comedic take-down of the American health-care system.
• Red Bull for sluts: Playboy announces plans to launch an energy drink with "subtle notes of fruit and vanilla." The classic Playboy flavors—old man and lubricant—did not do as well in test markets.