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Awaiting Ashley’s Major Labia Majora

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WILTING FLOWER Dupré

Fully clothed: Another day, another set of Ashley Dupré photos. These? Almost criminally boring. Especially when she’s said to have New York’s “most beautiful vagina.”

Everybody hurts, sometimes: Analyst-turned-writer Dana Vachon goes in for recon, potential pillaging, and a salad at now-decimated Bear Stearns corporate HQ.

Hardballer feels some ball attention: At first it was thrill sensations up his leg. Now Chris Matthews admits that listening to Obama speak makes him “emotional.”

Viral videos win big: Online sensation Tay Zonday took home best music video for his his original song “Chocolate Rain” at the 2007 YouTube Video Awards. We agree the song is catchy, but as catchy as this?

Sex ed, indeed: School officials in England were forced to distribute morning-after pills to 14-year-old female students after an end-of-term party turned into a drunken orgy. One official stated, “The children were drunk to the eyeballs. They were having sex in the village square standing up.” Not missionary? Wethinks this may not have been the first time for some.

Microsoft hires a Jackass?: In an attempt to stop getting its ass kicked by Apple, Microsoft is reportedly testing a new ad campaign featuring Johnny Knoxville.

Layup: Don’t ignore that downer Debby sitting by herself at the local bar. Turns out, she’s so horny. Downside: She’s a clinger.

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