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Corey Worthington Goes to Jail

Has it really only been five days since the great Corey Worthington Delaney (more on that name thing in a minute) threw the most raging party to ever hit the southern hemisphere? Feels like we’ve known him forever. Or at least since the ’80s. For some reason he makes us want to “Jump,” fly to “Panama,” and totally dig our teacher.

For those of you too busy thinking of ways Corey is the new Diamond David Lee Roth to be on constant Corey Watch, an update:

• Googling “Corey Worthington” yields 3,620 results. Googling “Corey Delaney” yields 9,010 results. “Corey Worthington Delaney”? 190 results. So, naturally, that’s the one we’ll go with. Covers all the bases, you know.

• In a bizarre and troubling turn of events, Corey was arrested yesterday, questioned by the police and then set free. The troubling part is that according to the Australian, Corey was charged with creating a public nuisance and producing child pornography. We’re assuming this means taking pics of 16-year-old boobies rather than six-year olds, but with Corey you never know.