Cold Comfort for Paris Haters

Hilton on Letterman: Watch Paris squirm as Dave tries to make her look smarter than a 10-year-old (above), and fails miserably to inspire even a moment of introspection.

• Gimme custody: OK! is reporting that Britney Spears has lost custody of her kids, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1. Still unknown is how permanent the L.A. judge's order is. Britney and K-Fed have another hearing on Wednesday. Also unclear, why Spears reportedly lost custody (Failed drug test? Driving without a license?) and where she will drown her sorrows tonight.

• Obamatron, go!: Barack Obama ties fundraising with Democratic rival Hillary Clinton, earning $20 million in the third quarter, $78 million total.

• Nazi man he used to be?: Federal authorities want to deport a 75-year-old Atlanta man who they say trained attack and guard dogs for the Nazi SS during World War II.