Bush Whiffs Down Under

BUSHMEN George, Australian Premier John Howard

• Bush being Bush: Entering the lamest part of his lame duck presidency, Pres. Bush stumbles all over himself on a recent visit to Australia, calling his hosts "Austrians," among other figurative and literal missteps.

• Smear campaign: Sure, when you look at Barack Obama (especially at the beach) your first thought is that you'd love to spend a wild night in bed with him. But then his wife tells you that he's "snore-y and stinky," and, well, you reconsider.

• Fried nuts: Foul-mouthed gourmand Gordon Ramsey may be one of the most famous chefs in the world, but even he cannot avoid the amateur mistake of setting his balls on the stove.

• Flip-flopper: After hedging on his promise to resign from the Senate, shoe-tapping Senator Larry Craig will indeed be out the stall door by October, according to his spokesman.