Dudes Don't Go to Zoos Sober

VINDICATED Tatiana • Maul rats: One of the survivors of the SF Zoo tiger attacks admits that he drunkenly taunted Tatiana, standing atop a railing and yelling and waving at the Siberian tiger. All three victims of the attack took vodka shots and smoked pot before heading off to the spend Christmas at the zoo. Oh, the wild, hazy days of youth.

• Never-ending crazy: The gift that is the Tom Cruise Scientology video keeps on giving, as he attacks the EPA and takes credit for saving the lives of Ground Zero workers in the latest clip.

• Rooked: Occasional anti-Semite/chess grand master Bobby Fischer dies at age 64 in an Iceland hospital. The cause of death has not yet been released.

• Pay attention to me: John Edwards' campaign attacks the media, saying they've received inadequate coverage compared to Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, despite what Edwards staffers say are competitive poll numbers.

• O, my: Oprah has Dr. Christiane Northrup on the show, who proceeds to encourage "self-cultivation" at least three time a week for "maximum pleasure." Oprah quips, "We know what that is." Sadly, gal pal Gail doesn't seem to be around.

• Man's best friend: Mike Huckabee offends (again) with comments equating homosexuality with bestiality. "I think the radical view is to say that we're going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal," the Huckster tells beliefnet.com.

• In the nose: In case you cared, High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale likes her new nose. But, even with her new schnoz, we still prefer her costar with the nudie pics.