Britney Tangled in Cuckoo's Nest

MAD HATTER Spears • Things not going well: Sources at the UCLA Medical Center say Britney Spears has been classified as "Gravely Disabled" following her spastic entrance into the facility yesterday. It is said the singer is unable to attend to her basic needs, and may—gasp!—be involuntarily committed.

• Not hopeful: Legendary magazine editor and Hillary Clinton biographer Tina Brown raises her hand in support of Hill. Still, she expects Republican John McCain to capture the presidency.

• Doctor doctor: Also checking into the UCLA psych ward, Grey's Anatomy's Justin Chambers. Chambers, who plays jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold Dr. Alex Karev, voluntarily entered treatment after suffering from exhaustion and a sleeping disorder.

• A whole lotta love: Overripe talker Rush Limbaugh passionately embraces The View's Joy Behar. (Shudder.) Regis Philbin, himself pretty pumped, claims "she loved it."

• Hollywood united: Actors Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Josh Brolin, and Sarah Jessica Parker are among those who pressured Entertainment Tonight not to air the Heath Ledger drug video.

• Decaf: Starbucks' sales are down. Way down. Execs blame the fact that there are too many outlets, too close together. Kinda nice to see that bite them in the ass.

• The road well-traveled: Mary J. Blige, no stranger to substance abuse problems and the perils of diva-dom, says she empathizes with troubled singer Amy Winehouse: "I understand exactly what she's going through."