Dick Gets Shafted

HANDY-WORK Andy • Sigh: No surprises here; Andy Dick was arrested this morning for drug and other charges related to exposing and groping a 17-year-old girl's breasts. Charming.

• A dark knight, indeed: Still have yet to purchase midnight tickets for Dark Night? With already 700 performances sold out across America, you're chances for catching the flick anytime soon are getting slimmer by the second.

• Wednesdays with Wintour: A circulating Condé Nast e-mail asked current interns to arrive early to Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour's presentation 15 minutes prior to start-time in case "Anna begins a few minutes early. If the door is closed when you arrive, do not enter..." Ja, Frau Editrix!

• Not funny: Didn't understand the satire behind the New Yorker cover? Let Saddam Hussein and Obama bin Laden break it down for you.

• Sausage-fest: Vanity Fair writer Alex Shoumatoff was arrested for attempting to crash a private men's club filled with priests in "pink-and-green satin costumes" and hamadryads in "gold spangled bodysuits." Can we play?

• World's dumbest dad: Moral of this story: when soliciting sex from someone you think is a 14-year-old girl, don't wear your "World's Greatest Dad" T-shirt. It's just tacky.

• BYOB</strong: Starbucks tests out Sorbetto, a fruity, iced drink. Says one discerning consumer, "Some tequila and vodka—that's what it needs."