American Yankster: Gutfeld's Brit Lit

UGLY AMERICAN Gutfeld in full If Greg Gutfeld's plan to become the John McLaughlin of right-wing fratboys doesn't work out, he can always fall back on literature. The Huffington Post gadfly, former Maxim UK editor, and sometime RadarOnline.com fashion columnist has signed a deal with Simon & Schuster U.K. to write a memoir about his move to London: "The book is about how Brits are happier than Yanks, and as a Yank I discover why," he says. "It begins with my arrival as a miserable and hungover asshole, and ends with me never wanting to leave the U.K. I am still a miserable and hungover asshole."

The working title, he says, is Lessons from the Land of Pork Scratchings. Gutfeld declines to discuss his advance, except to say, "I specifically asked that I be paid in pound coins. They are heavy and have neat pictures of the Queen, which is not Elton John, but should be."

Save those yuks for Roger Ailes, bub.

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Photo Illustration: The Black Table (RIP)