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Life Is Too Short To Spend It Coming Up With Headlines About Lauren Conrad

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Trophy girl: Hills star and aspiring designer of boring clothes Lauren Conrad has been tapped to create the gowns worn by the little ladies who walk across the stage at the Emmys giving statuettes to presenters. Maybe we were right about her fashion career after all.

Pretty funny Nazi killer: The Office's B.J. Novak is in talks to play one of the Jewish WWII soldiers in Quentin Tarantino's upcoming Inglorious Bastards. He'll be the scrawny one from New York.

Just take your clothes off: Chace Crawford of Gossip Girl fame has asked for a "substantial" pay raise. Could it have anything to do with the producers asking him to inexplicably remove his shirt every other scene?

$7 for a crappy pillow?: Remember when American Airlines stopped serving free meals and instead gave out those little "bistro bags" that included a cold apple and some yogurt? Well, it's getting much worse. Time ranks the stingiest commercial carriers, who are crunching costs under rising fuel prices.

Head like a hole: Trent Reznor has announced plans for his summer Nine Inch Nails tour. He wants "you to leave feeling like your head exploded," though most NIN fans will likely leave feeling like they still don't have any friends.

Pervy old critics like pervy old director: The media buzz for Woody Allen's new film that might include a three-way among Scarlett Johansson, Penélope Cruz, and Javier Bardem is strong. Variety's Todd McCarthy says, "The film is all about sexual attraction." Just like Cruz's accent!

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