The senior senator from the state of Delaware, Joe Biden, who also answers to "Scrappy Scranton," got a nice little career bump over the weekend. Everyone on the small screen was very excited about this! They'd been looking forward to this very moment for twelve or so years! Let's be honest, they were all goddamned tired of talking about Michael Phelps. Our lovable pundits had like, forever, to line up coherent, independent, knowledgeable guests capable of proffering to the American people a deeper understanding of just what kind of stuffing fills the civic soul and political track record of the Democratic veep nominee.

So who did they find?

For some balanced insight, ABC talked to Obama masterplanner David Axelrod and bitter bitter Republican Rudy Giuliani. NBC trotted out Caroline Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi, Obama champions both. Fox's Chris Wallace grabbed the two Democratic governors Obama passed over for the ticket and balanced them out with Minnesota's Republican governor Tim Pawlenty, widely believed to be on John McCain's VP short list.

In the end, it was a wash and we were no closer to understanding why Joe Biden doesn't use a barrette to keep in place that stray lock of hair he kept twirling Saturday. Thank God for Larry King, who saved us all by bringing in a real expert to tell us what it all means: the dude from The West Wing who isn't Martin Sheen or Bradley Whitford.