On Tuesday, Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder performed a solo show at the New York's United Palace, chilling the crowds with an offbeat mixture of his discography, cuts from recent cinematic soundtracks, and covers from a myriad of those who influenced his brooding yet sentimental sounds. And in a sardonic move, Vedder busted out a slow, over-produced R&B track—muttering to the giggling audiences and letting everyone in on the joke: "Aw yeah," he crooned. "Oh baby."

So then, his obvious coolness begs us to ask: Why would Vedder, the king of schmaltzy/manly, the prince of bearded/torment, agree to license some of his hits for what could be possibly the least cool video games ever? Irony or cold hard cash?

The lame game in question is DDR Game's Guitar Fever. Featuring a plug-and-play system (no console necessary), Guitar Fever is supposed to be the Guitar Hero for the masses, selling for $50, and featuring 15 Sony-licensed songs, many of which were penned by Vedder.

When we contacted Vedder's camp, they had no idea that their work was being used. "We never licensed those songs," a rep said when we asked how Vedder felt about the egregiously heinous renditions of "I Got ID" and "Given to Fly" featured on the game. "We're contacting our lawyers right now," she replied. "We're shutting them down." Ooh!

"It's not really a product," Steven Mar at DDR Game responded hesitantly. "I mean, it's a product. But we just get it from Hong Kong. I mean, they showed us the licenses?" When we asked to speak to a representative in the Hong Kong office, he quickly stammared "They don't speak English. I'll have to get back to you."

As for the game itself? It is disappointing in the same way the guy you just brought home who kind of looked like Brad Pitt in the dark light of the bar is disappointing. You want it to be Guitar Hero so badly, but no matter how you twist it, it's so painfully NOT. Missing in the pale imitation: song choices, sound quality, graphics, a working whammy bar, characters, battles, star power, a beat and any logic or sense or rhythm at all. Instead of Brad Pitt, it's Brad Garrett.

But if you're into seeing the thing in action, we'd suggest you hurry and order one online pronto—we're predicting that you won't be seeing Guitar Fever on the shelves anytime soon.