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The Ultimate Olympic Scandal

chinese_gymnasts.jpg
AFTERWARDS, THEY WENT BACK TO THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE AND PLAYED BARBIES Chinese Gymnasts
What's worse than forcing young people to endure a forty-hour workweek consisting of grueling physical exercise and unnatural dietary habits which will result in stunted growth and other potentially unhealthy developmental challenges in service of the unlikely possibility that they might bring an ethereal sense of national pride by performing well in a quadrennial competition to determine who's the best at not falling off a balance beam?

If those young people are a couple years younger than your own young people. American athletes are up in arms, claiming that members of the victorious Chinese gymnastics team are under the 16-year-old age minimum set for Olympic competition. It's a horrible scandal which may very well rock the foundations of a sport based mainly on unnaturally pre-pubescent women vaulting over immense phallic symbols in tight clothing. God forbid these girls actually are pre-pubescent; will the integrity of the games survive?

I'm looking forward to the natural conclusion of this trend, when coaches stand on opposite sides of the bar and throw babies back and forth.

Posted by: michaelduff on August 14, 2008 11:56 AM

Could be worse. You could be British and stuck with Tom "the kind of colleague who phones his mum in the heat of competition" Daley. I think he's about 10.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/08/14/tom_daleys_advisers_need_to_ta.html

Posted by: pufflehuff on August 14, 2008 12:41 PM

Someone needs to investigate the fact that China let us adopt every female infant they had.. EXCEPT THE SIX THAT TOOK THE GOLD..?

I admire the strategy, but that is hardly the way to honor Zeus, China.

Posted by: pmort on August 14, 2008 12:49 PM

Pre puberty test like dope test & age related bone test with developmental stages of genitals & breast tities physical examination should be conducted to repudiate chinese claims of age instead of doing propaganda empty efforts

Posted by: shirishm123 on August 15, 2008 5:41 PM

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