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People Flaunts the Jolie-Pitt Twins, Others Suffer Sad Aniston

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OMG FIRST PHOTOS OF THE TWINS. REJOICE AND CELEBRATE! Today's the big day for People mag—the unveiling of their $10 million, 19-page Brangie twins Family Album. Dressed all in white linens (save for one strange pic where big brother Pax, four, is shirtless but wearing a pin-stripe tie as he cuddles baby Knox), Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and their six children pose for what looks like a Banana Republic add, everyone all smiles with natural styling and make-up.
So what are the other mags to do in the wake of THE TWINS FIRST PHOTOS?

After staying stalwart last week during the women's mag takeover of the weeklies, In Touch totally caves and pulls a 69 Sexiest Bodies on the Beach cover (we do wonder a bit about their choice of the number 69—also a sex act that rarely proves practical. Is it a coded message?). Us does a Hollywood's Real Moms (No Angelina!) story trying valiantly to convince readers that cutesy quotes from Sabrina the Teenage Witch and that girl from Days of our Lives are a substitute for the TWINS FIRST PHOTOS.

Nice try guys.

But Star and OK! do the noble thing and drag out professional Brad ex Jennifer Aniston for their covers. This time it's good news for the former Friend, with both mags claiming she's finally over her split from Brad four years ago—usually when the Pitt's commandeer a new kid it's all about "Jen's pain over Brad's baby." But now, even though she might not know it yet, Jen's getting married to younger beau John Mayer in the fall (OK!) and having his baby to get back at Brad (Star).

Based solely on the facts that Aniston will hit the big 40 in February, and according to one nameless friend "no way would she still be with anyone if marriage wasn't a real option," OK! plans a whole shindig, which will be much more intimate than her million-dollar marriage to Pitt. OK!'s staff picks out her dress (Vera Wang), wedding party (BFF Courtney Cox as maid of honor, Cox's tot as flower girl, and Jen's dog as ring barer), and even the menu (seafood and veggies). All this based on, um, nothing, literally—not even some "source"/Shampoo girl. On the plus side, should the Jen/John wedding happen, the couple could use the story and save on a wedding planner.

Star, meanwhile, has a pal of Jen's claiming Jen asked her if she and John would "have a good looking baby." Apparently the buddy says Jen wants Brad to see her holding a picture of her own baby to "show him she's not the self-centered girl he had made her out to be. "It's my turn now,"' Jen told the source. Ahhh, nothing says I'm not as selfish as you thought better than having a revenge baby!

Our advice: spend the five bucks on People, grab a marker, and draw baby poop and spit-up all over the Jolie-Pitts in their summer whites. We bet Jen did.

Jen has made me like her even more lately. I for one am pretty sick of Ang & Brad selling their kids off. You go Jen, you look Fab at your age.

Posted by: jburton71 on August 6, 2008 2:52 PM

Please don't presume Jennifer is missing Brad with 6 kids and more. She's very happy without the moron he is. Angelina isn't good to her own dad who had to go on TV yesterday and admit he's not seen the babies and would love to see them all. Brad and Jolie are on the skids with all their money. Their kids will grow up hating and jealous of each other too. The bonding that they brag about now is not gonig to happen later and doubt today traveling all over the world if they are unless it's with their individual nannies they will love more than their parents who bought the adoptees and sold the ones they birthed. Be assured Jen is so happy without him in her life and is simply struggling the like the rest of the world to be happy with a nice man. Jen is all class and that was lost on Jolie with the incestuous relationship her mother allowed that we witnessed. Jen is looking for sanity, something lost with Brad who with all his money will never be the guy he once was but only known as the baby sitter. Hey, Jen is very happy and she doesn't miss Pitt a penny's worth. Magazines want to sell babies this year and I suspect the kids growing up will notice who got more money and their self esteen will be wounded by their parents ingnorance. All disgusting .. the best of all of us in in Jen and she probably nkows if not Jolie, Brad would have moved on as she has now. She wouldn't want to be with Pitt and she sure doesn't miss him today. She was just stunned by his lies telling her he still loved her and married to him she believed him. He's the one who's going to be sorry and I bet he already is. If not he's stupid... and that I noticed early on. He'll be left with the crazy woman and a houseful of kids who as they grow older will be resentful..all of them

Posted by: val on August 6, 2008 2:56 PM

And with that, I think I can make a strong case for commenter auditions.

Posted by: karion on August 6, 2008 3:47 PM

@karion: Seconded.

Posted by: Hez on August 6, 2008 5:19 PM

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cute babies but so are all 8 of my grandbabies. i think brad/angie are trying to fill voids in the lives with babies and that's sad. if you are having babies for the love of babies you don't have so many nannies to take care of them. i think you should post pictures of young women or couples who love their babies so much that they make sacrafises (sorry for spelling) not ones who can afford to have babies then have them raised by nannies. as for Jennifer Aniston i just love you and wish you the best in what ever you do. i only wish things would have worked out with vince i didn't like him until you and he were together then i saw him in a better light. i'm sure he must miss you because you put a glow into his life and it was noted in his acting. best of luck Jen from a loyal fan.

Posted by: willid on August 6, 2008 11:38 PM

The look on Shiloh's face is so sad..she has no idea just how much more irrelevant she's gotten with the new additions.

Posted by: punctiliouspig on August 7, 2008 4:18 AM

I'm happy for Brad and Angie and for Jennifer Aniston. I think they are all doing great. Thank God they don't live their lives according to how other people think
they should live it...what a bore that would be.

Can you imagine if all people lived their lives the way that blog posters thought they should...it would be a VERY WEIRD WORLD indeed.

I would love to work with Brad and Angie on a project to help make a difference in the world.

As far as Jen goes, I loved Friends, I watch all of her movies and don't like most of them, like some, but am still interested in them. i'm looking forward to Traveling, She's Just Not into You, MArley and Me..

But, I am REALLY looking forward to TCOBB, Burn AFter Reading, The Changeling and anything else Brad or Angie are in. WANTED was kick a**, fun, fun.

Ya'll have fun on the boards - one good thing about your posts, you are fully self-expressed.

Posted by: PamgelaTexas on August 8, 2008 2:29 AM