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America Too Poor For Coffins Now

  • New York City's cemeteries are already crowded—but that's just fine, because no one can afford those fancy burial grounds these days. Now will come the vogue for being burned alive (well, burned dead, really) because it is the cheap way out. Woodland Cemetery tells the New York Post that "while the number of cremations at Whispering Glades Woodlawn has typically risen by about 100 a year, the figure will jump by more than 300 this year." Remember back in the day when people would pay exorbitant sums to have their dead cats blasted into space? THAT IS OVER. Now we are all about putting them on the curb in trash bags. Pretty soon that will be the way we deal with grandma too, for the rise of cremation is only a guilty half-step towards mass human trash disposal. Next up: Kurt Vonnegut's suicide parlors!

    • By Choire Sicha   08/11/08 11:15 AM
    File Under: Recession Roundup, Style
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    even orthodox jews are opting for cremation these days.

    Posted by: sailor on August 11, 2008 11:41 AM

    Hard to tell were you're laying it to rest on this one, Choire, but I've purchased my fair share of coffins in the past ten years, and didn't feel like I sanctified much besides the oily palms of obsequious morticians.

    Posted by: KarenUhOh on August 11, 2008 12:05 PM

    "where," sorry.

    Posted by: KarenUhOh on August 11, 2008 12:07 PM

    Nah, the next step is Soylent Green.

    Posted by: ladyli1 on August 11, 2008 3:42 PM

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    Does this mean no more blasting live cats into space? I was finally starting to get the smell out of the drapes.

    Posted by: Hez on August 11, 2008 9:12 PM