Okay, kids, that's gonna do it for us for the week! Before you go, why not celebrate the dreams and ideals our Founding Fathers fought to establish by subscribing to our print edition! It's Pop Culture for Smart People, which was one of the inalienable rights Thomas Jefferson mentioned in the Declaration of Independence (although it was taken out of the final draft because he didn't like the flow).

As for us, we'll see you back here on Monday. If you're bored or curious during your three-day vacation, please enjoy this selection of quality features, all of which have been chosen because they match the mood of the holiday (i.e., they mention America in the title). And have yourselves a great weekend. You've earned it!

• Porn in the U.S.A.: Photographer Michael Grecco Looks at America's X-Rated Industry

• The Tao of Taylor Hicks: Radar settles the controversy rocking the American Idol winner

• Smear Factor: Negative campaign ads through American history

• Cloudy With a Chance of Fabulous: America's gayest weathermen

• Out of Service: Radar mourns America's bygone amusement icons

• Terrors of the Deep: Are Deep V-Necks destroying America?

• The Last Roundup: Is the American government compiling a secret list of citizens to detain under martial law?

• The Billy Letters: Little Billy seeks life advice, and America's most notorious killers are happy to oblige