Spurred by a litany of concerns about the Bush administration's use of its intelligence agencies, the House of Representatives passed legislation yesterday which significantly expands Congress' role in managing the intelligence community. Naturally, they did so over the objections of those rascals in the White House, who went so far as to threaten to veto the bill if the many offending provisions weren't removed. Because we really think quite highly of you, we've gone ahead and summarized some of the specific provisions the White House opposes and excerpted their stated explanations for doing so:

Prohibiting private contractors from conducting CIA interrogations.
"In some cases, a contractor may possess the best combination of skills and experience needed to collect vital information."

Creating an inspector general to oversee all intelligence agencies as a collective unit.
"There is no demonstrated need to spend additional taxpayer resources to provide for two inspectors general with competing jurisdiction over the same intelligence elements."

Mandatory reviews of all CIA covert action programs every three years.
"This provision would interfere with the independent judgment of the CIA inspector general or director of the CIA as to what activities should be audited and when the audits should be conducted."

Withholding funds for covert action programs until more details of said programs are shared with members of congressional intelligence committees.
"Such a provision ... would undermine the fundamental compact between Congress and the President on reporting highly sensitive intelligence matters."

Requiring the White House to give Congress information "necessary to assess the lawfulness, effectiveness, cost, benefit, intelligence gain, budgetary authority, and risk of an intelligence activity."
"This provision really isn't doing it for us. We actually spent a solid three hours just trying to figure out how you could possibly have thought that this was any of your business. Still, we appreciate the effort ;)"

Create an ombudsman for people going through the arduous process of obtaining a security clearance.
"The administration agrees that there is a pressing need for something of this nature. Ask us again eight years ago."

Comprehensive report detailing intelligence community efforts to comply with laws prohibiting inhumane treatment of detainees.
"Are you serious??"

Mandatory notification of Congress regarding intelligence shared with North Korea or China.
"Ummmm, no."

Mandatory semi-annual reports to Congress on the nuclear programs of Iran, Syria, and North Korea.
"Fuck off."

We might have fudged a few of those White House statements. But if you'd like to see a good example of how people in Washington officialdom tell each other to go piss up a rope, you can read the whole four page veto threat here.