It's the greatest story of the year, and it'll only get better. When Jeremy Pitcock (right), the head of the Intellectual Property unit at Kasowitz Benson (to the tune of $1.2 million a year plus), was terminated back in January, something smelled fishy. First reports said that he was poached by another firm—but then his former employers released a brief statement saying he was actually fired for "extremely inappropriate personal conduct." Later, we found out that he kissed an associate, and, well, that didn't sound so terribly inappropriate. So it made sense when Pitcock filed a defamation suit against his former employers in early June—given what we knew. Yesterday, his former employers struck back, prompting great shrieks of giddiness on the legal blogs, because, OH MY GOD, WHOA.

Really go here and download the whole complaint. My personal favorite part, evocative of the deliciously gilded fratty age in which New Yorkers currently live:

In November 2007, Pitcock tried to pursue another recently hired female associate ("Employee F"), using the same tactic of offering her a ride home, and then forcing his way into her apartment. Pitcock offered to drive Employee F home after a recruiting event that both Pitcock and Employee F attended.... Upon parking in front of Employee F's apartment building, Pitcock hurried out of the car and made a gesture of tossing his car keys to the building doorman (as if he were a valet), announcing, "We're going upstairs." Employee F, surprised that Pitcock expected to accompany her any farther, told Pitcock that there was no need for him to go upstairs.... The building doorman told Employee F that he had just let her boyfriend go upstairs, a comment Pitcock apparently did not hear.... Employee F pretended that her keys were lost and knocked on her apartment door. Pitcock was surprised and asked Employee F why she was knocking on her own door. When told by Employee F that her boyfriend was inside the apartment, Pitcock said, "This will be awkward."

Awkward indeed. (Emphases ours.)

Besides providing an incredible description of an (alleged!) office serial sexual harasser, a strong undercurrent of office politics has yet to be fully brought to light. Pitcock worked at the firm for a mere couple of years but, for one thing, his ex-wife had previously worked in a different department there—and "Pitcock knew of unspecified allegations of misconduct" against her boss. Presumably Pitcock wasn't so busy allegedly predating that he didn't figure out at least where a few bodies are buried.

Pitcock's lawyer released an aggressive statement late yesterday. In part, it promises to reveal the identities of the dozen or so complaining victims: "Mr. Pitcock will have no choice but to point out the ridiculous nature and inconsistencies in these claims at trial, which will undoubtedly lead to professional embarassment [sic] not only for Kasowitz, but for the women involved."

It also describes his former employer's account as "complete fiction" and makes the mandatory noises about this going to trial, which, right, we will not hold our breath for that.

The statement also suggests that it is impossible for a female coworker of Pitcock's to have let him into her apartment and then to have refused a kiss. Because clearly she wanted it. Um, guys, don't go down that road?

Meanwhile! Due to these allegations, fiction or not, it's not unlikely that Pitcock will never work again, unless they are hiring at Handsy, Gropey and Scary LLC.