Before we even saw the trailer we were pretty certain that The Love Guru was going to suck. But that's fine, ever since he abandoned Wayne Campbell that's exactly what Mike Myers has done—suck. Then we saw the trailer and realized that Myers' take on Indian love doctors wasn't just going to suck, it was going to suck like few have sucked before. And now that the movie's out and reviewers have taken to treating it like Birth of a Nation 2, we realize that The Love Guru is essentially worse than Nazism. Really, just look at what the reviewers are saying:

"The Love Guru is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again."—NYT

"The movie as a whole feels like an embarrassing, drunken party video that should have been erased but was somehow released."—Combustible Celluloid

"None of them—not one, not for a moment—is remotely funny."—NPR (NPR even!)

"This tale of a guru who brings joy to all who meet him is the most joy-draining 88 minutes I've ever spent outside a hospital waiting room."—Slate

"His character, and a ramshackle plot about a lovelorn hockey star (played by Romany Malco) are only crude pretexts for crotch humor, toilet humor, sexual outuendo, and a merciless succession of scenes involving flatulence, urination, and a dislikable dwarf."—WSJ

"Myers marries his two passions (hockey and not being funny) into one noxious ball of shit and wiener jokes...." —Film Freak Central

"So relentlessly juvenile as to merit a new twist on the PG-13 rating—one that strongly cautions not only those under 13 but anyone much above it, too."—Variety

"If Mike Myers took a dump in a diaper, it couldn't possibly smell any worse than this script."—Cinema Blend