Tell them you wrote an advice letter to Spencer Pratt. You won't have to worry about discussing politics.

You're killing me here Spence. How fucking cliché is the whole "Don't talk religion or politics" caveat? I'm sure it would be hard for you to elucidate on either of those topics because it would require that you have the intellect of an average 15yr old.

And if I don't recall, that insecure skeleton you trot around town with discussed politics on a public platform not too long ago. Remember when your trashbox of a girl gave her support for John McCain?

Plus talking sports is just as liable to get you into a confrontation as either religion or politics is. Ever see the film "Green Street Hooligans"? Those fuckers die for their teams.

But since you're busy doing to Ed Hardy clothing what Britney and Ashton did to Von Dutch, I'll answer this question for you.

My red state supporter, in this country we have freedom of speech. Many innocent Iraqi's have died so we can keep that sacred trait of ours protected. Just ask the incumbent president that you support.

So you shouldn't be afraid of any social or physical ramifications in voicing your opinion. Your peers will more than likely kick the shit out of you, but that should make your allegiance to your political party even stronger. Just think of the beating as an interactive motivational speech.

You also shouldn't be ashamed in being a "closet" Republican. Here's a statistical analysis that should help: 1 out of 4 adults in this country have herpes. I'm also sure that 1 out of every 4 adults in this country are Republicans.

It's a problem yes and there's no known cure for it as of now. All we can do is hope and pray. In the interim, you should try to find something to alleviate the pain and humiliation of being a member of the GOP while still holding your head up high until this problem is remedied.

You're welcome.

www.killkriskortez.com