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How To Be Microfamous

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Julia Allison
It is somewhat ironic that on the day microcelebrity par excellence Julia Allison was unceremoniously dropped from her six-figure gig as Star magazine talking head, New York magazine offers up detailed instructions on how you, anonymous reader, can reap the myriad benefits of microfame-dom, and possibly become a known entity like Ms. Allison (or even the guy she dated!). Writer Rex Sorgatz breaks down the rules of the microfame-game thusly:

1) Self-publish: "Now, when anyone can write a blog post or upload a video within minutes, the act of creation is an instance of media exposure in itself."

2) Stylize: "You need to separate yourself from the cacophony by being a little weird. Scratch that—really weird."

3) Overshare: "The dirty little conceit of so many social-media and -networking sites, including Facebook and Flickr and FriendFeed, is that they disguise self-publicity and oversharing as chatting with friends and uploading for storage."

4) Respond: "When in doubt, remember these three maxims: There is no such thing as being above the fray, every battle is worth fighting, and all disputes are good press."

5) Ally: "From anonymous blog comments to frothy bar conversations, confidantes are needed to tout your reputation at every opportunity. You need a posse.

6) Diversify: "Very few celebrity entrepreneurs have mastered this new world of multichannel distribution—except for Tila Tequila."

7) Controversy: "There are myriad ways to stoke the coals of controversy. The personal dramas of the microfamous—like Emily Gould, the former Gawker editor best known for oversharing her romantic exploits and then writing about the oversharing experience for The New York Times Magazine—can be deployed in a similar manner to that of the truly famous."

8) Persist: "While some people quickly fade from public consciousness, another kind of person seems to mysteriously—sometimes frustratingly—persist... (They are) individuals whose fame snowballs because journalists cover what they think other people want them to cover."

Our expert diagnosis is that Allison seems to be having trouble with Step 8—"Persist." The lose of her Star gig, and all of the television face time that comes with it, does not bode well. Even more unsettling, we couldn't actually reach her for comment. This has honestly never happened before. What's a microcelebrity without access to her best friend and enabler, the media? We'll let you know as soon as we hear from her, but things are, right now, looking positively glum.

At least until that rumored reality show hits Bravo and we're back at status quo.

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