An e-mail to her publicist seeking confirmation that actress/singer Scarlett Johansson is presently still free of sexually transmitted diseases was unanswered as of press time, but what the hell, we're ready to pull the curtain down on both this week and this joke, so we're going to go ahead and give her the benefit of the doubt and categorically state, once again, that Scarlett Johansson does not have STDs. Also, on a personal note, I want to mention that Ms. Johansson never really did it for me previously, but after five full days of resizing and uploading the photo you see here I am prepared to concede that, fine, there's something attractive about her. And it's not just the lack of chlamydia.

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• Singer/Actress Waits For No STD
• Actress Remains Untainted By Hepatitis, The Syph
• Scarlett Johansson Still Free Of STDs