• Clinton Wins Both States: The least likely scenario, a victory by Hillary Clinton in both North Carolina and Indiana would give fresh momentum to her almost impossible campaign to receive the nomination despite winning fewer contests than her rival. Superdelegates will have a new set of variables to ponder, while lazy writers will have another excuse to use the words "superdelegates" and "ponder" in their analyses. Expect an already-testy Barack Obama to get even testier, perhaps snapping at reporters who are increasingly less receptive to his themes of hope, hopefulness, and being hopeful. Depending on the margins, he may also just say "Fuck it," and support a meaningless gas tax holiday. He might also denounce Oprah, just because once you get in the denouncing habit, it's hard to stop denouncing.
• Obama Wins Both States: Also unlikely, although some polls show that the Illinois senator may eke out a slim margin in Indiana (which, to those suggesting he can't close the deal, apparently counts more because a lot of white people live there) and blow it out in North Carolina. Should this occur, pressure on Clinton to drop out will increase exponentially. Expect Clinton to argue that she needs to continue running "until every person gets the opportunity to vote," an elastic rationale that could easily include the voters of 2012.
• Obama Wins North Carolina, Clinton Wins Indiana: You ever see the movie Groundhog Day? This plays out a lot like that did.
• Obama Wins Indiana, Clinton Wins North Carolina: It's pretty tempting to say that this isn't going to happen, but given the fact that this fucking race is still going on despite everything that's occurred since Iowa it's unwise to rule anything out.
See you next week, when we go through the same goddamned thing with West Virginia.