Best media spin ever: A guy named "Bruce" in Australia seemingly got loaded, wandered up onto an overpass, and threatened to jump. He changed his mind and was trying to crawl down when he slipped and fell. But it's cool, authorities tell Australia's National Nine News. Fortunate, really. The grill of the firetruck that plowed into him in a perfectly executed maneuver broke what could have been a fatal fall. And if the truck had continued on to run Bruce over, we'd be hearing about his tension-melting "massage," courtesy of the Dubbo F.D. [National Nine News]