• Where's Suge Knight when you need him?: Former rapper and unemployed reality-TV star Vanilla Ice, aka Robert Van Winkle, was arrested on charges of domestic battery Thursday night after tussling with his wife. Vanilla has previously been charged with ruining the reputation of the Mustang 5.0 and for tricking the world into thinking it's about to hear a Queen song.

• The price is right: A nude image of Sarkozy bride Carla Bruni has sold at auction for $91,000 to a pervy anonymous bidder. The pics were expected to fetch $3,000 or $4,000.

• Hot air: Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange resigned Thursday after getting into a fist fight with his assistant, Teddy, on-air over passport photocopies and use of the word "Bloomies" as a super-fabulous abbreviation for Bloomingdale's. Listen to all the ugliness here and decide for yourself if it's real or just a passionate publicity ploy.

WAIT, THERE'S MORE: Cheney approves torture, fishes with naked chicks?; Mischa cops a plea; Olympic propaganda!

• Double vision: Dick Cheney, we wouldn't blame you or anything if that was a naked chick reflected in your sunglasses—we bring strippers on our fishing trips, too. Sadly, though, an expert of some sort has concluded that the image reflected in Cheney's shades is actually his hand on his rod.

• Plea pretty for the cameras: Actress Mischa Barton has copped a plea after being charged with drunk driving. Barton pleaded no contest and was sentenced to three years probation, as well as being ordered to complete a three-month alcohol education program and pay a small fine.

• Age of consent: 14-year-old waifs won't be walking the catwalk at Australia's fashion week, after organizers placed restrictions on girls under 16 following outcry from women's fashion mags.

• That's so harsh: When Cheney isn't making his hand on his rod look like a naked chick, he's having some covert meetings about torture techniques and signing off on harsh interrogation techniques, according to a former upper level U.S. intelligence officer who spoke to the AP under conditions of anonymity.