• International language: From banana hammocks and mangirdles to knee-length poet shirts and capes, International Male seamlessly (and often sleevelessly) outfits a mysterious race of pimpy Caucasians. If we were to theme the new collection, we'd go with "Yesterday's Vision of Tomorrow." Or just "One World, Bro." Maybe it's time to test drive this gear again.

• Guilty pleasure: A jury didn't believe the D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey's story that she was running a "sexual fantasy service"—or they considered that the fantasy might be banging a prostitute (sometimes while dressing up like a senator).

• Riveting television: First lady Laura Bush is slated to guest host the Today show for an hour and show off the family ranch and Read All About It!, her kiddie-book collabo with daughter Jenna. Authors who purchased this also liked My Pet Goat.

• Fi-ya!: Kung Fu-ing yuckster Jackie Chan—or his stunt man—is threatening to attack anyone who tries to stop him from carrying the Olympic torch in Beijing.

• Dishonoring the dead: It's only been a week and Charlton Heston is already rolling in his grave. Retail behemoth Wal-Mart is putting pressure on gun buyers by tracking sales and videotaping their every move.

• Did ScarJo just rock?: You know what kind of does not make us want to reference Jared Leto, Bruce Willis, and the other actors in bands? Scarlett Johansson's Tom Waits covers album, Anywhere I Lay My Head. First She & Him, now this. What's happening?