"To live in America these days is to suffer. I'm not recommending to my friends back home that they come here. I'm thinking of leaving myself." The words of a misfit? An America-hating hippie who's going to pack up his patchouli and move to Montreal to get away from "the Bush-Cheney war machine, man"? No. This slur against our great nation comes from a law-breaking immigrant. And he's not alone. According to many economists, the number of those seeking to cross the border illegally is dropping precipitously, mostly due to our sickly housing industry and pisspoor economy.

Where's the outrage? These people are saying that our nation isn't good enough for them anymore, and they're no longer willing to risk life and limb in an effort to come over here and be exploited by our employers so that they can do the jobs the rest of us don't want to do. Well, I say to hell with that. Listen up, Francisco: When you wanted to sneak over here and pick our grapes for slave wages so that your family back in Guadalajara or wherever could have a few pennies for a chicken every now and again, this country welcomed you with open arms (and attack dogs, but let's let bygones be bygones, shall we?). Now that things are getting a little rough you want to turn tail? Now, when we don't need you the most? No deal, buddy. You're gonna sit here and suffer with the rest of us. See you on the breadline, amigo. I'll be the fat guy in the Saints jersey bitching about how my tax dollars are funding the welfare checks you'd be getting if we actually allowed you into the system.