YO SPENCER! I'm 24 and after months of threatening, my parents finally cut me off. Do you have any suggestions on how I should budget myself so I can keep living large without going broke?

Just keep up appearances. Buy knock-off designer threads, fake ice, go to expensive restaurants, and order only soup and a cranberry juice. Don't buy girls drinks unless it's a special case. Or just get a rich girlfriend. Nobody says there's anything wrong with a sugar momma if you treat her right.

PREVIOUSLY: "Sadly, most guys are dicks and are looking to get laid."

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