• In your face, Mini-me: Vern Troyer has nothing on Jyoti Amge, a 23-inch-tall, 11-pound, 14-year-old dwarf in India. She "has already given some thought to becoming a Bollywood actress," the Daily Mail reports. Alert Lou Dobbs.

• Playing video games isn't very Chanel: Karl Lagerfeld will nonetheless give voice to a radio DJ in the forthcoming Grand Theft Auto: 4—presumably because they offered him a lifetime supply of fingerless driving gloves emblazoned with Rockstar Games logos.

• After the whores, hotdogs: Hooker-having former Governor Eliot Spitzer takes a stroll in Central Park with wife Silda—further proof he's still being punished, as no free man ever willingly goes for walk in the park with his wife.

• Just what the Internet needed, another funny video site: It's Videogum, from the folks who bring you Stereogum. Way to fill that gaping void!

Yep, more: New Kids tour dates; Olympic cowards; Britney, furniture salesperson?; Bill-O peeks in on Behar and Goldberg make-out session!

• Flab five: Like old guys in the club, New Kids on the Block, all of the original members, have booked a gig playing with Miley Cyrus, Jordin Sparks, the Jonas Brothers, and more at NYC radio station Z100's Zootopia concert May 17. Music industry, you did this to yourself. And us.

• Adapting: Members of the International Olympic Committee will discuss bypassing the torch relay after protesters barraged ceremonies in London and Paris. Quitting: It's not very sportsmanlike.

• Are doormats considered furniture?: Britney Spears's father Jamie wants his baby girl to become the face of a Danish furniture maker. Us, too.

Likes to watch: Bill O'Reilly, you can just tell by that wee twinkle in his eye, finds Whoopi Goldberg kissing up on Joy Behar invigorating.