• From Crawford, things look dandy!: After nearly eight fulfilling and effective years in the Oval Office, and fresh on the heels of news that February posted a loss of 63,000 U.S. jobs, President Bush has brazenly concluded, "It's clear our economy has slowed."

• Still crazy after all these years: Madonna gets it completely wrong, posing for some suggestive pictures in the latest Interview, which even if it were still 1991 would probably still make our skin crawl.

• C'est la vie: The mayor of a village in southwestern French has threatened residents with severe punishment—by cremation, possibly?—if they die, as there's no more room left to bury them.

• Not so posh: In the latest issue of British Vogue, Victoria Beckham explores tertiary functions of toilet paper, such as padding out any shoes too big for her feet (wouldn't that be any pair barring those from the kids' section at Christian Louboutin?)

• Trimming the client list: "A hairstylist shot an unhappy client after she complained about her haircut, police said." Think about it.