Unlike Americans, who prefer our persecuted minorities to have different skin colors or sexual preferences or genitalia, our Mexican neighbors have no problem lashing out at people just for being annoying. Case in point: the wave of violence directed at emo kids sweeping the country.

The emo-bashing movement, which originated on message boards of like-minded emo haters, involves disparate groups (punks, goth kids, metal heads, soccer hooligans) united by their hatred of bangs, tight pants, self-mutilation, and Morrissey. They have converged on the emos in town squares, at schools, and at concerts, thirsty for their sad, straight-edge blood. But what exactly is fueling their hatred?

According to some it's the anti-fun elements of emo culture. Others say it's rebellion against an oppressive government. And still others are pretty sure that it's just because emo-kids suck ass.

Whatever the reasons, Mexicans are not alone in their fight. The attacks have already spread to other emo-hating countries like Chile but, unfortunately, have yet to surface here in the United States. Which raises the question, why the hell not? Surely if Mexicans will do the jobs that Americans are too proud to do, they can come over and do the jobs they're already doing at home.