Viewers who watched Jeff Conaway's bitch-and-hobble routine on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew saw how the good doctor transformed him from a howling mad trainwreck to someone with a least a bit of hope.

So why the hell is Conaway on Inside Edition tonight crediting not Dr. Drew Pinsky but his leather-clad Greaser buddy John Travolta and Scientology for his sobriety?

"John and I stayed friends but he couldn't watch me going down the tubes ... he gave me a whole library of Scientology books and he's given me an auditor who comes almost every day." A babysitter! Top that, Dr. Drew! (We assume the main task of the auditor—a Scientology term for a spiritual advisor—is to keep Jeff's main enabler Vicki occupied so she doesn't feed Jeff handfuls of Norco.)

Or maybe Travolta's dangling a role in Battlefield Earth 2. "I'm going to be strong and healthy and totally together," Conaway tells Inside Edition tonight. "I've got to get ready for my Academy Award."